Who's Got What It Takes?
Gimlet is strongly considering selecting his running mate in advance of the 2020 Democratic National Convention. What kind of Vice Presidential candidate is he looking for? It’s a wide open question, but he’s said to be leaning toward choosing a natural-born human American citizen of at least 35 years of age. This would ensure that, in the event that the Supreme Court rules a cat cannot become president of the United States—or Congress passes a law to that effect—his VP pick could then take Gimlet’s place at the helm of the campaign to win back the White House.
Until a final selection is made, Gimlet is leaving the door open for any of the other leading 2020 Democratic candidates to join him on an unbeatable “super ticket”—providing, of course, that they are willing to fully endorse his What America Wants platform, and pledge to govern accordingly.
Here are some of the possible running mates Gimlet has considered:
Hands down, Warren is the hotness. Of all candidates running for president in 2020, her policy positions most closely align with What America Wants, and Gimlet would be thrilled to have Sen. Warren as his Vice Presidential candidate.
Only one of her policies is out-of-sync: she is against term limits for Congress because she believes that would increase the sway of lobbyists.
He’s the only candidate who can boast 8 years experience as Vice President, and that kind of name-recognition has provided him an early lead in the polls that could help boost Gimlet’s popularity.
But although he’d represent What America Wants far better than anyone on the Republican side of the aisle, Biden’s support for mandatory prison sentences for drug possession, military aid to Saudi Arabia, and his lack of support for increased firearm safety policies, lobbying reform, and marijuana legalization suggest that the 76-year-old is something of a relic from another time.
A fellow political outsider with bold new ideas, Yang has been seen by some as a natural choice to join forces with Gimlet as his running mate.
Though impressed by the proposal for a Freedom Dividend as a way to end poverty, increase stagnant wages, and grow the economy; and appreciative of the prioritizing of Human-centered Capitalism over corporatism, Gimlet recognizes that such ideas are simply not yet What America Wants. But with an articulate champion like Yang, perhaps they will be before too long.
A sincere thanks to all of the many, many folks who have written in to suggest that Gimlet should choose Grumpy Cat as his Vice Presidential pick, but here’s the thing. I have some sad news for you, so you might want to be sitting down for this. Grumpy Cat is dead. 😿
While we’re at it, let’s also take this opportunity to note that Maru the cat is a resident of Japan rather than the United States, and Lil BUB is from outer space.
Some jokes aren’t funny. Like mocking a reporter for being disabled. Please stop sending in the suggestion that Gimlet should choose Donald Trump as his running mate.
He’d sooner choose the corpse of Grumpy Cat. 😿